I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just gargled with NyQuil
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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