Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
