So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wish my penis had a tongue
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
