even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
