is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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