The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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