so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
