Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
