i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she peed on how many people?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
