He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
