i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
