Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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