I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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