Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize