you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Come share oat with me in your robe
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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