would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love having hate sex.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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