kristin has been a bad kristin
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
