This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
