I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
