It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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