Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
