she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize