i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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