I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
