Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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