are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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