I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
