Jerry, you need to find god
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I don't deserve a penis
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize