I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
