found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
