is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize