He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
