Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
