jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The feeling are messing with the penis
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize