I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
