well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Operation Purity has been aborted
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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