There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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