just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
