the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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