well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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