We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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