a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He passed out mid-signature
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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