You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
At least life still wants to fuck me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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