You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
