I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize