It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
