The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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