Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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