so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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