i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
