She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
