I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
