Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
