i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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