After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if only i could text you this smell
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
