if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
