Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
