I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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