i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
