god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Who died my cat blue again?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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