operation have a gay friend backfired
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
