"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize