He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize