shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
