Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
