So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
