This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
