I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your dad touched me again.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
