Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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