glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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