Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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