I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
