I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
