Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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