I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
