if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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